Back in the Body
It’s very easy these days to get spun up—doomscrolling, wincing as we check the news, feeling the fear invade our bodies until we crash out and dissociate. I’ve been doing all of it. I’ve been struggling lately with what I can write that will be helpful and needed. What I can provide is the things that have allowed me to exit the downward spiral, and revelations that I’ve heard from others.
Our brains are wise; our bodies are wiser. This week my brain was telling me to keep curling up on the couch, head bent over my phone, searching for …what? Some sort of key, some answer to the dread—but all I was getting was more bad news, more fear and anxiety. Despite being in a state of extreme disregulation, I went to my exercise class anyway. And wouldn’t ya know, I didn’t have time to churn over the latest horrors because my brain had to focus on my body. My body doesn’t feel good these days: I have chronic injuries, I overwork my hands, I sit too much. But I did my class and my body came along for the ride. I felt a thousand times better afterwards and that feeling has persisted. I’ve also been trying to start the day by putting on a song and dancing.
I heard from someone last week that they got into a practice in 2020 of only reading the news together with their housemates. They reminded us that receiving news alone is a relatively recent phenomenon. We don’t have to hold this alone and truly—we can’t. Isolation is a weapon that we don’t need to turn on ourselves. Do not do fascism’s work for it.
Spring is coming. We have made it through the darkest quarter of the year. Despite our horrific mistreatment of the earth, spring persists; the cycles of renewal continue. Look for the signs: tiny buds on the tips of branches, rubbery green bulb tips poking through the rotting leaves of last year, more birdsong. In our minds it can feel like the world is ending and in a way, it always is. It is also always beginning. Notice this.
Greet yourself gently. Observe yourself as you would a dear friend. Look at you—you’re still here, you’re still going. Give yourself a hug, tell yourself that you’re proud of you. Cheesy, I know—but it works.
Be discerning about how you give of yourself. Some people or moments deserve our expansive openness; others require us to protect our precious centers. Boundaries are only effective if they are based in love, not fear.
That’s about all I’ve got for today. Here we are; we are here.
I am running a raffle for my friend Fedaa to try and raise the evacuation fees for her family. If you are able, please make a donation! The information can all be found here: https://chuffed.org/project/support-fedaas-family